Memory
by BellaMemoria
Summary: Bellas life changes course unexpectedly after she begins to dream of a town she hasn't been to for 12 years, a house that calls to her, and a mysterious man who holds the key to it all. B/E


**Title: Memory**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, Edward would mysteriously end up with me and Jacob would be my best friend. **

**Summary: Bella has too many memories of her life with Mike, and needs to make some changes. Her life changes course unexpectedly after she begins to dream of a town she hasn't been to for 12 years, and a house that calls to her. B/E**

Chapter One: Too Many Memories

**Meeting.**

_A blonde haired teen, 17 years old, wearing a smile of welcome on his face. A brown haired teen, 17 years old, wearing a shy smile on her face._

"_I'm Bella."_

"_I'm Mike."_

_Both glance away, and the girl blushes prettily._

**Recognition.**

"_Bella, right?" He asks her, trying to play it cool._

"_Yeah."_

_He grins at her and motions to the seat next to him._

**Friends.**

"_Hey guys, we're all going to Mesas Burger down the road. You in, Bella?" Mike asks the new girl, hoping for the right answer._

_She pauses and looks at his hopeful face, not finding it in her to say no._

"_Sure," she answers, smiling._

_He left with a cheerful expression._

**Movement.**

_She felt like a fairy tale princess, sitting at the table with her friends on prom night. But when she stood up, she felt like the fumbling giant, and the illusion faded. _

_Bella hated being clumsy. She wanted to dance, and she wanted to dance with Mike. She wanted the night to be special, something to remember. But she couldn't glide like that, she couldn't move like the rest of them._

_She felt a presence on her left and looked up into Mikes handsome face, then at his outstretched hand, her head already shaking, lips forming words of protest._

_But the words never came, and his hand fit too nicely in her hand for her to continue shaking her head. Instead, she stood up and resigned herself to the fact that it was going to be a disaster._

_It wasn't as bad as she thought. It wasn't great, that she knew, but Mike handled the stepped-on toes with grace, and never once complained when she tripped._

_She felt like a fairy tale princess, tripping across the floor, her hand in the fairy tale prince's._

**Love.**

_Their love was a gradual recognition. It was simple and fulfilling. They were Bella and Mike, and they made each other happy. The girl and the boy were 19 now, and planning a future together, a future past high school and college._

_They talked about living together._

"_A house with a big kitchen," was Bella's only stipulation._

"_A house with a big back yard," Mike had added in. _

_But it was a few years off, and they knew that. Still, they enjoyed dreaming and planning it together._

**Drifting.**

_Bella was studying at Arizona State University, sights on a teaching degree that was only two years off. Mike was working on a business degree, planning on taking over his parents sports store when they retired, and planning on expanding it to the neighboring states._

_Both were working hard, both at their studies and keeping their relationship together. They had been going strong for three years, but found it harder to work at with both of their lives going in separate directions. _

_Bella didn't want it to end, and Mike didn't want it to end, but both felt the relationship taking a strain, and feared that they wouldn't last much longer._

**Placement.**

"_Mike, I know you're busy, but come on! You have to take a night off sometime!" Bella pulled on Mikes arm, trying to get him to follow her out of their apartment door. He wouldn't budge._

"_Bella, seriously. We are graduating in four months, I need to work. You need to work too for that matter," Mike sighed in frustration, digging his heels in._

_Bella let go of his arm and took a step back. "Mike, I know when we are graduating. And you know usually I am the one who would agree with you and stay back instead of going out. But it's Angela's birthday, her 22nd__ birthday, and I want to be there with her and celebrate. And I want you to be there." _

_She looked at him with her brown eyes, and knew her lower lip had a slight pout, but she didn't care. Bella knew it could be considered manipulation because Mike usually caved in when she did that, but all was fair in love and war._

_Mike smiled at her, and leaned down to nip at her bottom lip, causing Bella to laugh. She threw the keys to him._

"_You're driving."_

_Mike sighed in resignation. _

**Death.**

_All she heard was screaming. _

_All she felt was intense pain on her side._

_They wouldn't stop screaming._

_Her head was against the dashboard, and it took all her strength to lift it. _

_Nothing but confusing images. _

_Fire._

_Smoke._

_Faint outlines of people._

_And Mike. _

"_Oh God." _

_Mike, bloody and limp._

_Lifeless eyes staring at her accusing._

_And then it was Bella screaming._

_Meeting. Recognition. Friends. Movement. Love. Drifting. Placement. Death._

_Meetingrecognitionfriendsmovementlovedriftingplacement._

_Death._

Bella woke with a gasping noise, heart beating erratically, eyes frantically searching the dark room. Her breath came fast, and she felt herself starting to hyperventilate. She sat up quickly and swung her legs off the bed, bringing her head down to her knees. She tried calming herself, breathing evenly, until it didn't burn to draw in air.

Her hand shook as she fumbled for the switch to the lamp beside her bed, finally finding it and casting a glow over her room. Bella looked around the room, eyes falling on familiar objects. She pressed a hand to her heart, and felt it beating at a normal pace.

She hadn't dreamed about Mike for a long time. Two years after the accident, and it still shook her up to think about it. Sighing, Bella stood up a tugged a robe on over her old shorts and oversized t-shirt. Walking to her kitchen, she flipped on the lights on her way, illuminating her path. She looked at the clock on the oven, and figured she might as well stay awake.

School started in two hours, and she still had some papers to grade. Outside her living room window, she could see the sun start to rise, adding a pink glow to her living room. Not for the first time, she thanked her landlord for giving her an apartment with a bedroom window that didn't face the rising sun. Bella really wasn't much of a morning person, and when she got her rare days to sleep in, she relished the fact that her room stayed dark enough until she was ready to wake up.

Opening the fridge door, she reached in for the milk and her eye snagged on a picture stuck to the freezer door. She froze, her dream fresh in her mind. It had been taken 3 years ago, when she was 21 and still at ASU. Angela had snapped the picture of Bella and Mike in an unsuspecting moment.

The picture showed Bella grinning down at the book in her lap, hair swinging forward and hiding most of her face. Mike had been sitting next to her, looking at her with a tender expression on his face, one hand reaching up to snag a piece of her hair.

Tears sprung into Bella's eyes, and her fingertips grazed the picture. 8 months later and Mike had died. Cold air snapped Bella from her reverie, and she realized the fridge door was still open, her hand still reaching for the milk. Shaking her head, she grabbed the carton and shut the door with her foot.

It had taken her two years, but she had finally stopped blaming herself for Mikes death. For a long time, she had believed that if she had just let him stay behind, just let him study, then he would be alive. Or if she had been the one driving, it would have been her to get side slammed, not him.

She hadn't come out of the accident unscathed. The side of her stomach held a scar 3 inches long, a constant reminder of that night.

But the scars inside far outweighed the physical ones.

"I need to move," Bella said to herself, setting the milk on the counter.

She had been living in this apartment for 4 years, and it was the one she had shared with Mike. There were 4 weeks left in the school year, and she had 2 months left on her lease. Plenty of time to search for some place new, a place where she didn't feel as if a weight was pressing down on her, a place that didn't have a thousand memories of Mike.

Her need to move wasn't just for physically reasons, but for mental and emotional. She needed to move on with her life, she needed to start fresh. Bella didn't want to see the worried looks on her friends faces anymore. She wanted to start being Bella again, and not this empty shell, this _zombie _who walked around in Bella's body, wearing Bella's clothes, living Bella's life.

She had accepted Mikes death a year ago, had accepted it wasn't her fault four months ago, but she hadn't done anything about it yet.

The dream she had of them had been memories, and they had been good memories, but memories were something to be happy about, not dwell on and cry about. She was going to be happy about them, even if it was the last thing she did.

"I'm going to do this," Bella said aloud, nodding her head in affirmation. "I need this. I deserve this. I'm going to move. And I'm going to see Angela. And I need to stop talking to myself now before I commit myself to the bin."

She sat down to grade papers, and had a renewed determination.

Later that day, after school got out, Bella placed a call to Angela.

"Bella!" Her friend answered the phone enthusiastically.

"Angela!" Bella replied, grinning.

"It's been forever since we talked," Angela said, her voice more somber. "Is everything ok?"

Bella frowned at that. She knew it had been a while since she had called Angela, and she knew she had been fielding her calls, but could it have been that long? She did some quick calculations and winced. Three weeks since they had talked on the phone, and she was sure she hadn't been the best conversationalist.

"Everything's…ok. Ange, I was wondering what you were doing today?"

Silence.

"Well, I was going to see Ben after work for about an hour," Angela replied, speaking of her long time boyfriend. "But after that I'm free. Did you need someone to talk to?"

"I was actually thinking about going to maybe see a movie. Or maybe go out to eat. Whatever. But I miss you…I miss talking to you," Bella said, saying the last part softly. She was saddened that she hadn't been the best friend she should have been, but she wanted to make it up to Angela.

"Sure!" Angela exclaimed, surprised. "I miss talking to you too Bella. How about we meet at your place at 7?"

"Sounds good. There are some things I need to discuss with you, and I'd love your opinion."

Both women spent a few more minutes chatting, and after hanging up, Bella felt better than she had in a while.

The first step was supposed to be the hardest, but that was surprisingly easy. It just made her worried about the weeks to come, and all the hurdles she had to jump. Bella knew she had a purpose, something she was supposed to do, something that had been bothering her for a while, and she was determined to find what it was.

But first things first, Bella had some packing to do.

There were too many memories in that apartment, and she couldn't hold on to them forever.

**A/N: Ok, so what do you guys think? Worth continuing?**

**Please review, I love them!!**


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